Hey friends! I want to say thank you for keeping this blog going strong. Each time I sign on and see so many new members I feel very grateful. Although my intercultural relationship has ended I’m happy to see the blog continues to gain in popularity and is a resource to so many others who are on their own intercultural relationship journeys. While there are many other blogs out there sharing a similar subject, I feel this one has evolved into something special because of the information, support, advice, and stories you all continue to provide for each other even in my absence. So again, thank you all!!

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Below is a reader’s recent letter to me sharing her emotions and experiences in her very new relationship with an Indian man. She kindly wanted to share her story with all of you, too. Reading her letter brought back many of my own early feelings of excitement with MIM. She’s definitely on a journey that no matter the ending will change her life forever.

Before sharing her story, I also recently received an email that I hope the writer does not mind me posting in its entirety:

Why did you and MIM break up? This is really making me curious. I have a boyfriend from Kolkatta, India and I can totally relate to everything you said. It's weird. He says he loves me and we are on the best time of our lives. But, you and MIM were too, but what happened? Why did you guys break up? I want to know so that I can prevent it from happening.

The reason I wanted to comment on these two letters in the same blog post is because it’s something we can never foresee, isn’t it? - How something can begin so good only to end well, not so good – depending how you look at it. Of course, there’s nothing I can do or say to stop a relationship from ending for anyone else. We are all on our own journeys and there’s no telling what the future may bring. The only thing we can do is enjoy while the moments last. For some the moments continue forever and for others it is only a “moment in time”. Life is messy but that’s what also makes it interesting. I always wish the best for all relationships but if it doesn’t end in marriage, babies, or happily ever afters, it doesn’t mean that the whole relationship was a sham. There’s always something new and exciting up ahead if you’re simply willing to turn the corner.

I wished MIM and I had gone the way I had planned. But now that I’ve had time to live and can look back on it with a sense of nonchalance, (It’s been exactly a year since we went kaput), I am able to feel grateful for the experience but also grateful for what I have now. In other words, and please understand I do not mean to take away from what MIM and I had at all, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It almost seems like it was all meant to be - as if my life really is following some unseen script. So I can’t really say why it ended exactly, as, it wasn’t only one great event, but rather little things that seemed to pile up until it became more of a relief and desire to say goodbye and walk away than to continue on. I still think very fondly of MIM, btw, no matter the harsh things that were said or done during or after our break up.

Keep in mind that none of us can foresee how, if, or why our intercultural relationships may end and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it from happening. Just go with it, enjoy every moment, be thankful, and learn as much as you can.

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I met my Indian love three months ago while staying at a hotel.  He owns the hotel, and I was a guest.  He was visiting from Arizona, where he lives.  We started talking in the lobby, and it was hours later before we said goodnight.

My stay at the hotel was supposed to be for only one night, but I ended up extending my stay, as did he.  We did not get romantically involved during that week, but we did go out for dinners, lunches, shopping, walks in the park, etc.  I was not ready to enter into a relationship with him, mainly because I was only a few months out of a previous relationship.

He continued to pursue me after he went back to his life in Arizona, where he is an engineer.  After numerous phone calls and talks about his deep feelings for me, I agreed to enter into an exclusive dating relationship with him.  He immediately told friends and family that he had met the woman of his dreams.

Telling his closest friends and immediately family about me from the start makes my story somewhat different.  His parents are deceased, and he has a sister, so there lies the difference.  We have each been married before, but I have no children.  This also makes my Indian Love relationship somewhat different.  He does not practice Hinduism and was raised Sikh.  He currently has independent religious and cultural beliefs after living in America so long.  He is a philosopher by nature.

My love and I have a tremendous amount in common, many things in the areas of philosophies and hobbies.  We also feel an electric energy together and can stay up for hours without feeling tired.  We can talk business for hours too, and we have decided to purchase a hotel and run it together.  He has asked me to become his life partner, and we are to begin our journey this year after I move.  For now, we are in a long-distance relationship, both in the United States.

We have had a few excursions, to include a very romantic and exciting trip to Las Vegas.  We have sipped champagne at the bottom of the Grand Canyon together.  We have shared the highest and deepest feelings of love possible - We are in love so much is makes us ill to be apart from each other.

My Indian Love and I plan to be together this summer permanently.  We are taking a trip to India to kick things off.  He was born in Northern India and speaks Punjabi.  His family has a palace there.

That's it for now.

Hello again, readers! This one I'd like to dedicate to the ladies.

If you've read my latest post you'd know that MIM and I's relationship has really taken a turn for the worse. But by doing so, I've realized it's allowed me to move ahead in the process of letting go. The moment I received his nasty name calling message, I suddenly had the power and determination to delete our entire Facebook and email conversations - which I will admit I had been hanging on to. Not because I planned to one day be back together, but I simply didn't have the heart to watch three years of communication vanish before my eyes. The day I saw his words, I had absolutely no desire to hold onto it any longer.

Delete all please!!

Are you sure you want to delete the entire conversation? This cannot be undone. YES!!

Deleted. Done.

And I felt...

Lighter.

Next up is our bag of memories. I have a large red and white bag covered with hearts that I had stored all our memories in - movie stubs, love letters, cards from all occasions, and the like. Guys may be scratching their heads at this but as girls I think we all tend to hold on to "cherished moments" like these. It's been sitting on my bedroom floor tucked under my desk and I have been considering just tossing the entire thing without even peering inside. Because I can't decide whether to go through it piece by piece for one more trip down memory lane or just to chuck it, it continues to sit there, undecided.

Since I'm getting ready to once again leave my home for awhile I've been doing some cleaning and rearranging and I've noticed a lot of memorabilia from my past relationships here and there. Photos from my first boyfriend and I's trip to the beach were discovered in the deep recesses of my nightstand for example. That's 11 years ago!

Part of moving on and continuing to blossom as a person means letting go of the past. Especially if the past did damage to us emotionally or hindered us in any way. And often letting go means really letting go - like getting rid of all the left over artifacts from a life and love that doesn't exist anymore. Sure, it's nice to hold on to things for the memories but these memories can often blur reality at the same time. In a "love bag" such as mine, we only hold on to the good memories and looking through such artifacts may make us question why things were ended in the first place. This can lead to us second guessing and doubting our decisions. Then perhaps, going backwards and back to him.

Believe me, when things come to an end, it's usually best to keep them that way and keep looking ahead.

So now it's your turn. When did you finally let go or have you let go yet? If you haven't, how do you think it would make you feel to erase or get rid of all memorabilia from your past relationships? Hopefully like me, it will make you feel empowered and resilient.

Now for that bag...

Yikes!

I relish the anonymity on this site as it allows me to share parts of my life that in most circumstances I, and those close to me, wouldn't feel comfortable sharing.

For example:

My brother is quite a private person. So I hope he understands that even though I am sharing this news about him to my readers that he still remains completely anonymous. Do any of you know who my brother is? His name? His whereabouts? Didn't think so. So to MDG's lovely brother, go easy on me! You know I couldn't keep it in any longer. You can beat me up later.

Here it goes...

This summer my brother went on an amazing bike ride around Europe while I was gallivanting around the U.S. by car. One of his stops was London, which he remained in for quite a long time, just around three weeks, which was a much longer visit than any other place he stopped by.

A snapshot of my brother's touring bike crossing into Italy, one the many countries he visited during his four month European exploration by bike.

Once he was back to the states I heard the news via my parents; my brother had a girlfriend. He met her this past year in college. She is a transfer student from London. Hmmm...the plot thickens...

That's it? You ask? So what!

Well besides my brother having a girlfriend, which is pretty big news in itself, it turns out this Londoner's family hails from none other than ... (drum roll please!) ... India! My brother is dating an Indian!

He kept the news from our family for quite some time, apparently a bit embarrassed what we all would think about it after my ordeal. I simply had to laugh at the irony of it all. The situation is a bit different from my own of course, as she was born and raised in London and therefore his experiences with her will be much different than mine with MIM.

But there you have it! The big news that might possible get me killed - or simply bruised up here and there from a sisterly/brotherly spat. It was well worth it. Perhaps he's willing to take over the running of this site now that "My Indian Love" pertains much more to him than me?

Dear Readers,

What you are about to read is a love story between Lijo John and Noreen. Their initial meeting is described in Noreen's own words. The personal letters that follow are real letters exchanged between the two after Lijo went on to break Noreen's heart by marrying an Indian woman to please his family. Because of full anonymity, (names have been changed), Noreen felt comfortable sharing such intimate details with readers. For her it was a helpful way to heal. Still, it is a tough decision to share your personal love life with the world. Because of this I ask you to please be respectable in your comments. I appreciate Noreen being so open and honest with her experiences. Perhaps it will help others on whatever path they may be on in love.

MDG

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