Hi all! Heart Matters...nice to meet you | Introductions | Forum

Interesting site.  I have always had a  curiosity and love for a country and people I never knew anything about until my early teen years.  I'm always learning and coming to an understanding of "my indian love", meaning India and the people who come from this mysterious place.  I look forward to knowing you all better. I guess the words can have a different meaning for many folks.

MDG said:

Hi and Welcome HeartMatters! Thanks for being one of the first to use the forum and introduce yourself. Yes, My Indian Love can mean many things. I know I have a soft spot for all things Indian too, no matter if I have an "Indian love" still or not. Have you made it there for a visit yet?

Thank you MDG.  No I have yet to visit India.  I have a few family members who have  and they all had great experiences and met many good friends.  I have read all your posts about your "indian love", so inspiring, yet sad at the same time.  Look forward to reading more :)

hey MDG and Heart Matters …. what would it take to be friends with you two ? I am a doctor … I have partially grown up in London and in India…. I am looking for speacial someone…. I hope to find someone hear soon…. !!!

ok thanks mdg … i hope you doing well…. love and light to you….

MDG said:

Well thank you, Siddhartha! So if you don't mind saying, why do you think your relationships with American women didn't work in the long run? Would you date an American again?

As for me, I believe my experience with Indian relationships have come and gone. I'm not sure if I could go through it again. But India and all things Indian will always have a special place in my heart.

I welcome a new prince to come my way but for now, I'm very content with my first love – singing! I'm going to squeeze as much out of it as I can while I still have the chance.

I am sorry to hear about your painful experience. I can't speak for what happened between you and your ex. It could have been cultural or religion or personal differences. I gather he was muslim?? Although I have known wonderful, liberal, progressive muslims , I suspect their cultural values could have made a difference. But, India is so diverse  that what you experience in Indian muslim  culture is totally different with Indian Hindu/Christian/Sikh/Zoroastrian/Buddhist/Jain cultures. 

My experiences have been wonderful in my inter-ethnic relationships whether it be with american or European or British or other. But, then also I am very progressive and also westernized ( yet eastern !) in my views having dated feminist, university type , well-educated women.  My compatibility with american women was based  more on social values, politics, worldliness, intellect and of course the fact that these women all liked indian culture especially Hindu/Buddhist culture. That always helps!

I have nothing against american women or any other nationality. I treat people as individuals with respect and dignity. Compatibility, of course  is important. My longest relationship was with the yoga teacher from Ohio for 7 years. On hindsight, she is the woman I should have married. We still communicate as friends. I have fond memories of each and every relationship I have had with american women.  I am good friends with my american ex-wife and still communicate with my exes. My american ex-wife  is now living with a woman!! Hahah!

To answer your question, yes,I can see myself being married to an american again if everything clicks.

Not that it is any of my business, I hope you don't shut out potential Indian suitors because of your painful experience. Not all indian men are sexist pigs like the ones posting all the nasty stuff in your blog . Not all indian men are pappoo chillos ( mamma's boys!) and I know many in blissful marriages with american women.

Finally, based on what little I know about you , your background matches many american women I have dated. You seem to be a dazzlingly beautiful, charming, intelligent sweetheart !!

So, keep that beautiful smile of yours glowing and who knows you might  experience another Indian garam masala ( hot spice!)

aimee said:

@siddhartha kumar

My compatibility with american women was based  more on social values, politics, worldliness, intellect and of course the fact that these women all liked indian culture especially Hindu/Buddhist culture. That always helps!

 

what was it then that was missing from these relationships? or what do you think Indian women could offer that these women could not?

 

:)

Interesting question.

I have never really dated an Indian woman except for a brief fling with an indian christian in the UK where I my spent my formative years. I am a "BBCD",  British born confused desi!  90% of my gfs including my ex-wife have been white European or British or American including a long relationship withan israeli woman ,   except for brief flings with  one south african (dutch origin), one new zealander , one aussie and one Canadian. I am 43 so have had the years to do the rounds and discover life !! Haha! Honestly, I can't see myself in a relationship with an Indian unless she grew up in the west and is thoroughly westernized.

As to what was missing in all of my primary relationships, well our differences were not cultural but personal. My ex-wife now prefers women  for instance! Haha! The other american women I dated either wanted children right away or in one case she was so heavily into Indian spirituality ( Hinduism) that she wanted someone who was more indian and less westernized than me !

My american gfs have been less attracted to my "Britishness" and more to my "Indianness" which I think on hindsight could be the core problem since my "Indian-ness" is primarily genetic and not cultural. I am what you'd call "Gunga Din" who sounds like James Bond  to use a British stereotype of Indians!!

hope that answers your question